reflections on CCDA

So I spent last week in Cincinnati, OH at the Christian Community Development Association Conference.  When I planned for my CCDA trip, I expected to attend some workshops, do some networking, and get a better handle on the urban youth ministry scene.  I expected another work-week, not a life-challenging experience.  As he often does, God blew up and exceeded my expectations.  It wasn’t the flashiest or best put-together conference in the world.   But it was real, and it was deep.  It was accessible for every person from every ministry of every age, especially to those committed to loving and sharing the gospel for the least of these.  There were no superheroes walking around, just ordinary people who worked with youth and the poor and the mentally ill and the hard-to-love.  One of the themes of the week was that programs don’t change people, people do.  So here are the people that made an impact on me at CCDA:

John Perkins

Starting the morning with a Bible study by Dr. Perkins on 1 John is a pretty great way to start the day.  There was such wisdom in the way that he taught, and you could tell it was coming out of his life and who he is.  Dr. Perkins biggest exhortation to us was to have the discipline to read and live out the word of God.  In his words, Christians today are way too sloppy.  Revolutions were never started and led by undisciplined people.  “Too busy to study the Bible?  Fool, do you want to be successful?  How you gonna be successful if you don’t know the Bible?”

Dan Hodge

Dan taught an intensive on developmental urban youth ministry before the conference.  Dan and I went to seminary together so it was great to spend time hanging out and learning from him.  He brings incredible knowledge of academics and ministry together with a real understanding of the streets.  Lot of good takeaways from Dan’s session: assess the hood levels, don’t use kids for the “story”, the sociology of the hip-hop generation.

Soong-Chan Rah

If you haven’t heard of this brother yet, go out and get The Next Evangelicalism. It is one of the most insightful and provocative books on the present and future of the evangelical church in America, especially regarding racial and cultural reconciliation.  He is an incredible speaker, author, and professor at North Park Seminary.  And I’m happy to say that he’s a really good guy, too.  Prof. Rah was gracious enough to spend some time with Phil and me to chat and have ice cream.  It was great to hear his wisdom for young leaders and share some laughs.  I think I have this tendency to put leaders on a pedestal, so it’s one of the favorite things to find out that they’re just normal people.  His sessions at CCDA were definitely highlights for me, and I think some of the videos will be up on www.profrah.com.  Check that out.

Bart Campolo

So this is how Bart starts his talk: “I don’t need your money, and I’m not trying to recruit you to anything, so I can tell you the truth.  Are we making a difference?  Probably not that much.”  That pretty much set the tone.  It was straight-shot the whole way.  So this was the deal, doing urban ministry you’re going to lose a lot more than you’re going to win.  They’re called miracle stories for a reason; they don’t happen that often.  Now this is a tough message in a room full of men and women who pour their lives out for people in rough situations.  I could feel the resistance from all over the place.  But this is a guy who’s been in a game for a while.  So this is what I got from Bart: you may not be able to save people, but you can love them.  You can sit with them, like Mother Theresa did for the poor, and hold their hand as they die and share Jesus’ love with them.  And don’t think you can do it alone.  You need a group of friends around you who are going to be there for you when it’s hard to love people.  Incredibly challenging, still trying to process it.

Andrew Marin

Great workshop with him on biblical reconciliation and dialogue with the gay and lesbian community.  I don’t think it’s a stretch at all to say that this is the most divisive issue between the church and culture today.  Andrew had some incredible depth of experience and insight into this area, which I think is lacking in most of talk I’ve heard on it.  A big takeaway for me was that most all of the questions that arise around “the issue” are largely yes-no (closed) questions.  Usually they are meant to identify whose side you’re on.  And it becomes a lose-lose situation both in the conversation and the witness.  So a lot to learn on this, I picked up his book, Love is an Orientation and hopefully will have more to say in the future.

The interns from Pink House

I got to meet and hang out some with a group of interns from Pink House, a community reaching out to and loving inner-city Fresno, CA.  Most of them were in their early twenties, either in college or recently graduated.  They shared about what God was doing in their lives, how God led them to urban ministry, and what the next step for them might look like.  You saw in their eyes that they were soaking in everything God was bringing their way through CCDA.  I wanted to encourage them to keep moving forward, but they encouraged me because they were passionate about where they were at right now.  I love that.

Phil Varghese

I can’t leave out my man, Phil.  He was my partner in crime on this trip, and I had a great time hanging out with him.  Phil is such an easy-going guy and we had a lot of fun talking and laughing and watching baseball.  This dude is always smiling and positive, so you can’t help but feel happy around him.  So I left on Saturday afternoon and Phil stayed to the end on Sunday, and I’m not going to lie, I was a little sad to leave early and not hang out at CCDA with him anymore.  But I got over it, haha.  By the way, Phil and I checked out the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center in Cinn.  If you’re there, you need to go and visit.  It’s a very powerful place.

 

Ok, so I just realized that this list was all men, and I don’t want it to sound like there were only significant men at CCDA. There were incredible women as well, both speakers and participants.  Big ups to Amy Williams especially who gave an excellent workshop on reaching out to urban youth beyond the walls of the church and being a great salsa instructor.

All in all, what I loved about CCDA is that I saw so much of New Life Fellowship there.  Not literally, but the values and the ministries and the diversity were such a reflection of what New Life is about.  And again, it was pretty honest and authentic and wonderfully imperfect.  Thank you, Lord, for CCDA.

which door are you standing by?

Dr. Jay shared a poem with us at the Singles Retreat at NLF last February.  It’s written by Samuel Shoemaker, an Episcopal priest who contributed to the founding principles of Alcoholics Anonymous.  I had the privilege of attending a meeting of AA a couple years ago and be a fly on the wall to listen to the conversations of different folks who were searching for the door.  I never saw any of them again, but I think about them and whatever happened to them on their journey.

The poem takes on new meaning for me as I think about the ministry God has given to me with young people.  I stand at the door for them, and I try not to forget why my place is at the door.  I guess it takes a lot of courage to stand at the door, and I’m not always sure that I have that.  Sometimes I think it would feel easier to just go inside.  But I know that’s not our purpose.  So I’m inspired by this poem to keep standing there for those who are seeking – one, two, or ten of them.  For me at this moment, it’s the youth of New York City – middle school, high school, college, or somewhere in between.  That’s my door, and I’m blessed that I don’t stand there alone.  There are others who stand at the door with me.

I wonder what door others are standing by, and whose hands they are putting on the latch.  It would be great to hear, so that we can all be encouraged to do the same.  Thanks, Samuel Shoemaker, for encouraging me.

“I Stand by the Door” by Samuel M. Shoemaker

I neither go too far in, nor stay too far out,
The door is the most important door in the world-
It is the door through which people walk when they find God.
There’s no use my going way inside, and staying there,
When so many are still outside and they, as much as I,
Crave to know where the door is.
And all that so many ever find
Is only the wall where a door ought to be.
They creep along the wall like blind people,
With outstretched, groping hands.
Feeling for a door, knowing there must be a door,
Yet they never find it …
So I stand by the door.

The most tremendous thing in the world
Is for people to find that door–the door to God.
The most important thing any person can do
Is to take hold of one of those blind, groping hands,
And put it on the latch–the latch that only clicks
And opens to the person’s own touch.
People die outside that door, as starving beggars die
On cold nights in cruel cities in the dead of winter—
Die for want of what is within their grasp.
They live, on the other side of it–live because they have not found it.
Nothing else matters compared to helping them find it,
And open it, and walk in, and find Him …
So I stand by the door.

Go in, great saints, go all the way in–
Go way down into the cavernous cellars,
And way up into the spacious attics–
It is a vast roomy house, this house where God is.
Go into the deepest of hidden casements,
Of withdrawal, of silence, of sainthood.
Some must inhabit those inner rooms.
And know the depths and heights of God,
And call outside to the rest of us how wonderful it is.
Sometimes I take a deeper look in,
Sometimes venture in a little farther;
But my place seems closer to the opening …
So I stand by the door.

There is another reason why I stand there.
Some people get part way in and become afraid
Lest God and the zeal of His house devour them
For God is so very great, and asks all of us.
And these people feel a cosmic claustrophobia,
And want to get out. “Let me out!” they cry,
And the people way inside only terrify, them more.
Somebody must be by the door to tell them that they are spoiled
For the old life, they have seen too much:
Once taste God, and nothing but God will do any more.
Somebody must be watching for the frightened
Who seek to sneak out just where they came in,
To tell them how much better it is inside.
The people too far in do not see how near these are
To leaving–preoccupied with the wonder of it all.
Somebody must watch for those who have entered the door,
But would like to run away. So for them, too,
I stand by the door.

I admire the people who go way in.
But I wish they would not forget how it was
Before they got in. Then they would be able to help
The people who have not, yet even found the door,
Or the people who want to run away again from God,
You can go in too deeply, and stay in too long,
And forget the people outside the door.
As for me, I shall take my old accustomed place,
Near enough to God to hear Him, and know He is there,
But not so far from people as not to hear them,
And remember they are there, too.
Where? Outside the door–
Thousands of them, millions of them.
But–more important for me–
One of them, two of them, ten of them,
Whose hands I am intended to put on the latch.
So I shall stand by the door and wait
For those who seek it.
“I had rather be a door-keeper …”
So I stand by the door.

big 3-0

I know, I know.  The epic fail of not blogging after vowing to blog everyday is slapping me in the cyber face.  I hope there is some grace in this, so I’ll pick myself off the mat and try again.  So much has happened in the 2 1/2 months since my last blogeration.  Not the least of which is that I finally hit 30.  More on that to come.  Here is a short highlight reel:

-Youth Retreat at the end of July was amazing.  I felt like I got to know our youth so much deeper.  Preaching, playing, worshipping, and praying with the youth and the leaders was so much fun.  Just from a few days there are countless stories of God at work.  Felt really bad for pranking Daniel Perez who will spend the rest of his youth ministry life trying to get back at me.  Much love, Daniel…let’s call a truce, haha.

-So I think I can dance?  I’m trying, at least.  So August marked a couple of dancing firsts.  I took my first dance class (hip-hop), which was fun but got my butt kicked.  And I tried swing dancing for the first time.  Now swing dancing was actually pretty popular back when I was in college.  Church groups would organize swing dancing fellowships, which I think was an effort to offset the desire to go to a club and freak and grind.  As far as I could tell, it wasn’t too successful.  And as much as I like dancing, I was never too interested in the swing fad.  Until last month when I happened to go to Midsummer Night Swing at Lincoln Center.  And you know what, it’s pretty dang fun and challenging.  So one of my new challenges is to learn swing/lindy hop and be as good as the nerdy guys at Fram (insider swing lingo).  Some nice things about swing: 1) It’s very non-sleazy.  I like salsa too, but there’s a slight sleaziness factor at salsa places.  That, and I don’t really look good in gold chains.  2) You can be the dorkiest, most awkward, out-of-shape guy, but if you can swing dance well, you are the man.  In fact, the dorkier you look, the better you probably are.  I’m sure there’s some sort of logarithm for it.

-”Not For Sale” movie screening at Astoria Park.  Beautiful night, but it was much more beautiful to see hundreds of people coming out to care about victims of sex trafficking because God put something on the heart of a college student who wanted to make a difference with her summer.  And brothers and sisters rallied around her and now there’s greater awareness, at least in our little sphere of influence, about this great evil and suffering in the world.

And then, on Sept. 17th, I hit 30 years old.  I have actually been preparing myself for it, so it wasn’t all too much of a shock.  What was surprising though was the love I received from people around me.  That was an incredible blessing.  You see, I celebrated 29 out here last year, but I was new and didn’t know a lot of people.  So I had a very chill dinner with a small group which was great.  And I don’t like to make a big deal out of my birthday anyway.  So I was content to do roughly the same deal this year.  But some friends convinced me to dream big so a bunch of friends gathered for some bowling and good food and good times in Brooklyn.  And I took a swing dancing workshop on Sat.  And Cal won and moved up to #6.  So it was a great weekend already.

BUT I had no idea what was coming next.  On Sunday morning, I was getting ready for our Youth Service down in the Youth Room.  Rich was set to speak that Sunday so he was down there, and he tells me that Pastor Pete needs me to come upstairs because there’s a problem with some youth.  Exactly what I want to hear 5 min before youth service.  So I head upstairs with Rich to the Yellow Room, and right when I walk through the door, I hear “SURPRISE!” and see a bunch of youth and leaders upstairs with decorations and food.  So they threw me a surprise 30th birthday party (which was my first, btw) and to top it off, Raven baked me a cake with my name spelled out in M&M’s.  Wow.

Reflections on turning 30: When you’re surrounded by good people and can see God’s calling for you, it’s a blessing at any age.  And yeah, I’m just getting started.

time to go home

Yet another new blog attempt.  I think this one is going to stick though.  It’s basically the same layout as before, but I wanted to get the same username for both WordPress and Twitter.  This seemed the most welcoming.  As overly ambitious as it may sound, I’m actually going to try to blog something everyday.  You might think, “well, that’s what Twitter is for.”  But I like the idea of sitting down for at least 20 minutes or so and writing.  Putting thoughts together in a way that flows and has meaning is a fun thought for me.  It’s a way for me to express the creativity that I think God has placed in all of us.  I got the idea when I visited Mosaic in LA last weekend.  The pastor was sharing about finding different ways to be creative through your life and not being afraid to engage in that expression.  At New Life, we would call that creating and shaping.

I think it’s clicked in me that New York is now my home, especially Queens.  I spent last week hanging out with family and friends in sunny and beautiful LA, and for the first time, I felt like I was visiting.  It was odd because everything was so familiar and so comfortable, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that things had moved on without me.  And likewise, I had moved on also.  There are those things in LA that will always feel like home for me though: hanging out at the beach, King Taco, all-you-can-eat Korean bbq, hanging out at Peet’s for hours on a sunny afternoon, bowling in teams for dessert, and so much more.  I was really happy I got to do all that.  But soon it was time to come home.

Home for me now is an apartment in Elmhurst and new memories to build here.  It’s a new ministry with youth and college-age students in New York City and being a part of the plan God has to love and save them.  Home is the new friends I’ve made and the old ones I’ll always hold on to.  And it’s this blog where I hope to put up some thoughts worth writing, and hopefully worth reading.